Show Love

It's been a melancholy day since I found out this morning that a friend lost his life to cancer. News of death is always hard to hear but it's especially rough coming not too long after knowing of another young life lost to the disease. And, as is disturbingly common these days, I know least two others who are fighting it and still more who are survivors. Cancer - this destructive, malignant thing - is so insidious. It creeps in and wreaks havoc in the body and in life.

I knew my friend from church where he was always welcoming, rarely without a smile on his face, and had a quiet strength. We didn't speak often but when we did it was clear he spoke from a place of faith and conviction. When I last saw him a few months ago he still had that same warm smile. When I spoke to his wife, however, stress was evident in her face and voice. I can’t imagine what this young family must have faced together from the initial diagnosis through the last few days. I can guess that when they speak of battling cancer it must be, at the same time, a physical, emotional, and spiritual battle. And naturally, I can’t help but think of what life will be like for my friend and her young daughter as they face life without a life partner and father.

Still, as I think about all these things my life goes on in a very ordinary way. I set doctors’ appointments, make lists and scratch things off them, go grocery shopping and stock the refrigerator, bathe my child and put him to sleep, and coordinate schedules with my husband. It isn’t until the house and the world outside are silent that my mind is drawn fully back to this loss. And I wonder: what, if anything, is required of me to bridge the gap between the intense sense of loss and my everyday life?

It’s been my experience that God responds to my needs in very specific ways. And messages that require me to do something are also clear - usually strong and repetitive. I got one such directive after seeing my friends: send her flowers and a note letting her know you're thinking of her. For weeks I ignored it and eventually, caught up in my commonplace everyday "stuff", I forgot all about it. Now I'm left wondering what one or both of us missed by my neglecting to follow through on that one simple task.

So the answer is yes, Rachel, something is required. It's simple: take the time and follow through. Send flowers, write the note, make a phone call, get in touch, show your love. Everything else rests in His hands.

I myself have gained much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because your kindness has so often refreshed the hearts of God's people.